My Aunt and Uncle stopoed to see us on their way to Nauvoo this week, and it was so fun to see them. I haven't seen them in forever, and they are such amazing people. I wish the visit could have been longer. But, we are grateful for any opportunity we have to see family because those opporutnities don't come around too often. Miss H warmed right up to them, and we were all sad to see them go.
I just wanted to let you all see how much fun my girls have together. They really do love each other, and I love seeing them playing together like this.
I was watching Oprah the other day and it was an episode about this Mom who left her little girl in the car for over eight hours, and this little girl died. When they first started talking about it my first thought was, How does a Mom do this? How do you forget your child for EIGHT HOURS? Well, this mom started telling her story and the first thing she says is that her day didn't start out routine. Her husband usually took her two girls to pre-school and day care, and she went to work because she had to be there earlier than their drop off times. On this particular morning her husband had a dentist appointment, and it was the mom's first day back to school (she was a vice-principal). She had to run a few errands before it was time to drop off her three year old at daycare, and by the time she was done with those errands her mindset was, "it's time to head to school." Her daugheter had fallen asleep in the backseat, which caused the mom to forget she was there. She went through the whole school day not even thinking about her child in the car. Until the end of the day when a co-worker came running in to tell her that she was in the car. The daughter hadn't survived the long day in the hot car...
Ok, my point is this. I read about this happening a lot over this past summer and my thought was always almost immediately one of disbelief. How can you forget your kids? They are around almost 24/7, and the center of almost every mom's world. As moms our lives revolve around our children, so, at least for me, there are very few moments that I'm not thinking about them.
Well, this mom went on to say that as a mom we all just get to busy. We try to do too much, be everything to people around us, and try to be the perfect moms. Our lives get so busy that simplest things slip our mind. How many of us get busy running errands, the kids fall asleep in the car and we leave them there for just a few moments to run the groceries inside, or leave them there when we run inside for a quick errand? Over the course of that show my thoughts about this mom and her mistake changed. She has to live with her mistake for the rest of her life. She was distracted, which is something we are guilty of. Her routine was broken for that day, and it changed her life. So...my question is what do you all think? Can you sympathize with her? Understand how it could happen? Think that it could happen to any one of us? I"m curious to know what you think.
Ok, my point is this. I read about this happening a lot over this past summer and my thought was always almost immediately one of disbelief. How can you forget your kids? They are around almost 24/7, and the center of almost every mom's world. As moms our lives revolve around our children, so, at least for me, there are very few moments that I'm not thinking about them.
Well, this mom went on to say that as a mom we all just get to busy. We try to do too much, be everything to people around us, and try to be the perfect moms. Our lives get so busy that simplest things slip our mind. How many of us get busy running errands, the kids fall asleep in the car and we leave them there for just a few moments to run the groceries inside, or leave them there when we run inside for a quick errand? Over the course of that show my thoughts about this mom and her mistake changed. She has to live with her mistake for the rest of her life. She was distracted, which is something we are guilty of. Her routine was broken for that day, and it changed her life. So...my question is what do you all think? Can you sympathize with her? Understand how it could happen? Think that it could happen to any one of us? I"m curious to know what you think.
9 comments:
This is such a sad story. I cannot imagine forgetting your child and having to live with the consequences. There has got to be no greater penalty than the accidental loss of your own precious child and have it be your fault. The anguish she must feel.
when I hear stories like this I always wonder what kind of parent could do this? but you are right, - it could happen to anyone.
Watching this show I had the same reaction as you. At first I was horrified at what kind of mother could do this, but after I heard her story I realized it could happen to anyone, which made me wake up in panic the other night! Honestly I woke up in panic thinking of her story.
Wow it was good to see your Uncle again. Is he still at CEU teaching at the institute? Kevin and I love him! I also love that picture of your two girls, thats so cute. As for your story.....I don't know if I could sympathize completely. The whole day in a car? I too have ran errands with the kids in the car. Danika is now 7 almost 8 and I feel comfortable leaving her with the others for a few minutes to run a package into the post office or something. I give her stricked instructions not to touch anything or let anyone in. I don't think I've left them longer than 5 minutes. I can understand forgeting them if they fall asleep. I have even left my baby asleep in the car on purpose (so they could sleep more) but it was in the garage and I periodically checked in to see if everything was okay. I do realize she will be living with this for the rest of her life which makes me feel all the worse for her. I didn't watch the show so I don't know what was said but I do agree that we can get caught up in things and forget. I remember putting one of our kids in time out for something and then forgot about him, he had to have been there for 10-15 minutes before we realized it. We felt so bad. We now set a timer.
It's true, this could happen to anyone, so i don't necessarily think she's a bad person.
It is a good lesson for us to be careful of what we put on our plates. Our children didn't ASK to be there, we chose for them to be, so they are always the priority. If there is anything (like a job, a hobby, an addiction) that keeps them from being front and center, it is our job to eliminate or reduce.
I'm not on a soapbox about working mothers, to each his own, but when your main job is caring for a child, it's hard for them to be out of your mind more than 20 minutes. Let alone 8 hours. I don't envy the pain this woman has to face every day of her life. I will also take it as a warning for myself---there are other things besides locked cars that can harm our children, and there are other much simpler things than jobs that can distract us from their care.
Like blogging. Did I say that out loud? My daughter choked on an orange, two feet from me. While I read blogs. I'm just sayin...
That is so sad! I missed that one. I can definitely sympathize with her because in the busy-ness of life...it could happen to a lot of people. I also feel bad that she has to live with that little mistake that made a BIG difference. So sad.
I forget that your mom was a Norton....I had some great institute classes at CEU from Brother Norton, so it was fun to see some pictures of him!
I seriously cried all the way through that Oprah. I've never left my kids in the car, but I've had moments of panic when I've questioned whether I've left them there. Sometimes I'll find it easier to unload the groceries before the kids, and I can see how easily my focus could become distracted and I could forget them. I could totally empathize with that mom....given the kind of day she'd had, I can easily see how it could have happened.
I was able to watch bits of the same show. I have mixed emotions about it. I have a hard not thinking about my little one every 5 seconds, but that is because that is what I do. I am a mom FULL TIME! But mistakes happen, minds wander and days get crazy. I cant even imagine the pain she goes through and I am proud of her for stepping up and speaking out. Sure we should all slow down a bit but I cant keep up as it is. I think the hardest part of the show was the anonymous phone call line that they played. All those moms that called in and confessed the things that have happened in their lives that could have (or did) end very badly. It was a tough show to watch.
I feel for that mothers pain. I could not imagine what it would be like to lose a child even if it was or was not your fault. I can see that people get distrated. I myself have been. I once went grocerie shopping and when I came home to put the grocieries away, I noticed kaden was a sleep. so I opened his door so it wouldn't get too hot( It was June). Anyway I put the groceries in the house and sarted to put them away. It was probbly only 5 or 6 minutes that I was in the house and realized that it was too quiet. I ran out there and found him still asleep. jsut fine. But it scared me to death. I felt so bad that I thought, "what kind of mother am I?" Since then I am paranoid about leaving him , so I can understand that you can forget for a moment. I just dont get how you can forget for hours and hours. But again every one is different. I pray for that family that they will be able to cope and move on and have peace. After all that is what the gosple is all about. What I dont understand is how people without the gospel can cope and move on through things like this with any sanaty. Times like these really make me eternally greatfull for the gospel!
Ya know, Death is an interesting concept that we as people have over time scewed and made into an unberable burden upon those left behind. We have all forgotten something at sometime and in her case this time it was tragic, we are lucky to have the knoweledge we do and the resources to learn to cope and find comfort in tragic instances. So at first it would seem easy to get mad at her and pass judgement but thats not for us to do. Our job is to choose to react in a Christ like way and then show love and compassion, no matter the fault or the person. I love how my sister is so level minded that she came this conclusion. She is an awesome example to her brothers.
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